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Logically, it should be the same as the minimum age for marriage
It’s an obvious question to ask.
But the fact few bother to do so, gives a far fuller answer than a legal textbook ever could.
Amid the many debates about Bangladesh’s new Child Marriage Restraint Act, it is telling how rarely commentators have mentioned the legal age at which an individual in Bangladesh is considered mature enough to consent to sex.
Even more so when you note that said age of consent, according to Bangladesh’s Penal Code, is only 14.
Given that alarms about the new child marriage law were first raised by health and human rights groups over three years ago, when earlier drafts proposed reducing the minimum marriage age for females down from 18 to 16, it is remarkable how much of the penal code’s contents pass without comment.
There is an obvious, albeit inexcusable, explanation for this state of affairs, of course: In Bangladesh, no matter what the law de jure says, the de facto reality, in practice, is that, neither age nor consent have much bearing on the matter. What counts most is marital status and not being single.
Sex before or without marriage is simply not regarded as a feasible option. That’s just the way it is (and/or we’d rather not talk about it).
Of course, you may know exceptions, but the word says it all, “exceptions.” Hence, the argument goes, there’s no point fretting about the seemingly low legal age of consent for sex outside marriage.
It’s the low average age of marriage generally, and high rate of illegal underage marriages that are (rightly) considered to be the bigger cause for concern.
Around half of all Bangladeshi girls are married off before the legal minimum age of 18 — most of the rest, within a few years after. With strong correlations between poverty, underage marriage, poor nutrition, and limited years in education, there are plenty of reasons to encourage older average marriage ages.
Unfortunately, this challenge has been made harder by the government responding to criticisms of its bill, by dropping its initial reference to 16 as a new minimum age. Instead, it has increased ambiguity by simply allowing for exceptions to the pre-existing minimum marriage ages (18 for female, 21 for males) to be permitted in fuzzily defined special circumstances.
The bigger point is the concept of consenting adults being free and able to decide private matters for themselves, that is what should be adopted and encouraged
Conceivably, such ambiguities could be resolved soon if the government acts on ministerial promises to provide further clarifications. But in the meantime, the soundbite from Girls not Brides that the new law risks Bangladesh reducing “minimum marriage age to zero” is being widely reported around the world.
It is long overdue for more people to take a more serious look at updating the 1860 Penal Code which applies in Bangladesh.
This is both easy and difficult.
Simple, because the whole code is not that many pages long, plus it’s instantly searchable on the government’s own website. And tricky, because some people would rather suffer, or see others suffer, from lack of information, than endure the risk of controversy or an embarrassing conversation.
Such caution and social convention is, sadly, both inevitable and ridiculous.
Ridiculous because Bangladesh would not have made the progress it has made in reducing average family sizes if we as a nation were simply too mortified to talk about sex and contraception. Including, and especially, the very young women and girls who are pressured into early and underage marriage having access to family-planning advice.
And inevitable because, look around you, patriarchy prevails and most people in the country tend to expect, or assume, everybody else wants them to abide by traditional expectations of sexual mores.
Sadly, this makes it easy for the few to intimidate the many. Take for instance the ongoing case of a development studies lecturer at Dhaka University being investigated because of an anonymous accusation of using “objectionable content” during a seemingly routine course about gender and development.
If such a case can arise from a DU post-graduate course, imagine the reactions a school-teacher would get from parents if they told their 15-year-old students that “the age of consent in Bangladesh is 14.”
Disbelief perhaps. But the fifth part of section 375 of the 1860 Penal Code is clear. It defines statutory rape as “with or without her consent, when she is under 14 years of age.”
From this arises the implication that the age of consent in Bangladesh is 14.
This same section also contains the egregious provision providing for marriage as a defence for rape, which is clearly long overdue for being repealed.
Both sections largely reflected the law in Britain at the same time. As it turned out, British parliamentarians very quickly got round to raising the age of consent in the UK to 16 after late Victorian press exposés of child trafficking in London brothels. But it took until 1991 for English law to make rape within marriage a crime in itself. Patriarchy is not just for Victorians then.
Incidentally, section 376 of the Penal Code does appear to imply an offence where the “wife” is under 12 years old, but whether this is sloppy ICS drafting or an intent to deal with the most serious forms of paedophilia is debatable.
More positively, perhaps, sections 372 and 373 are relatively detailed and specific about outlawing the trafficking of girls under 18 for prostitution.
Another marriage law, section 497, outlaws adultery but is presumably not used much partly because it excludes a wide range of possibilities where there may be “consent or connivance,” and mainly, I suspect, because it explicitly rules out punishing women — “the wife shall not be punished as an abettor.”
From this potted history alone, it is clear there is much to reform, but for now let’s stick to what should Bangladesh’s age of consent be. The main choice seems to be “keep as it is” or “raise it to 16” for the same reasons as Britain’s.
According to the internet worldwide chart: 14 is lower than the majority of other nations like France (15), Ireland (17), and India and Turkey (18). But 14 is not unusual as it is the same age as Austria, Brazil, China, and Germany. And higher than some countries like Japan (13), Philippines (12), and Nigeria (11).
The most common age of consent specified by most countries appears to be 16 years of age, as in the UK, US, Indonesia, Russia, and Malaysia.
Particularly in those Western jurisdictions, where there is wider public debate about sex, generally; and high profile exposure of child abuse scandals in religious bodies and children’s homes has increased public demands to protect children, these ages are sometimes strengthened by additional measures focused on stopping predatory adults, such as extra limitations on those far apart in age and/or in positions of authority.
Such scrutiny and attempts to improve the law are in marked contrast to a number of Muslim countries which either do not specify or enforce any minimum age for marriage and simply state that sex is only legal within marriage, and punishable without, as in Iran, Pakistan, and Saudi Arabia.
Well that makes it simpler then: Don’t be like the latter. They have simply too many examples of arbitrary interpretations and misogynist abuses of religious scriptures to be taken seriously.
It’s no coincidence these nations have seen instances of rape victims being stoned to death and perpetrators excused with impunity.
It is the risk of going down the latter path that campaigners are warning against when they worry that “special circumstances” will see more young girls forced into marriage before 18.
This same section also contains the egregious provision providing for marriage as a defence for rape
True enough, but some of the rhetoric such as the law “will allow parents to force their daughters to marry their rapists” is still arguably alarmist. When Prime Minister Sheikh Hasina talked about allowing marriages to reduce social stigma, she was probably thinking more about consensual teenage pregnancies of the “shotgun wedding” variety, rather than victims of rape and predators.
No doubt her approach and interventions have included spin to appeal to social and religious conservatives, but it’s probable that she both believes this and trusts it to be electorally popular.
Provided the government is serious about it being an act to restrain underage marriage, with courts only permitting exceptions with good reasons, all is still not lost then.
Assuming ministers are able to recognise the main and easy to rectify flaw is not specifying an absolute minimum age.
Logically, such an absolute minimum age would have to be the same as the age of consent, which is why I asked this question in the first place. Going on numbers alone, if I had to pick one, I would say 16 is safer than 14.
But the bigger point is that the concept of consenting adults being free and able to decide private matters for themselves, is what should and needs to be adopted and encouraged. That won’t happen this month, but it has to be part of the way forward. Governments need to lead.
This isn’t about forcing people to change their personal moral attitudes and religious beliefs. It is about providing and protecting the freedom, health, and welfare of all the nation’s people.
Safeguarding children from predators, protecting the health of mothers, promoting safe sex, all these goals can be helped by improving the education, knowledge, and freedom of the entire population. And recognising that won’t happen without more widespread empowerment of women and girls.
All of which, including much of the progress Bangladesh has made in the past 40 years in improving life expectancy and child mortality rates, will be placed in jeopardy if the government does not do more to drastically reduce the scandalously high number of underage and early marriages.
With around half the population aged 19 or under, the economy growing and society changing fast, don’t expect the clamour aroused by these issues to damp down any time soon.
The least we can do for coming generations is to make sure they do not die from ignorance.
Niaz Alam is a member of the Editorial Board of Dhaka Tribune. A qualified lawyer, he has worked on corporate responsibility and ethical business issues since 1992. He sat on the Board of the London Pensions Fund Authority between 2001-2010 and is a former vice-chair of War on Want.
When African men in Nigeria, Uganda, Kenya, Morocco, or Egypt are confronted with the masturbation lifestyle propagated by the Spanish masturbation teacher Fran Sanchez Oria, they feel disturbed. Does Sanchez not have a mother who feels ashame when her son propagates worldwide that men should keep on masturbating on and on. Does he want his family to be known for such a member?
Today, in our eyes, marrying a foreign girl or a foreign husband is not difficult as long as both sides have love. This is also a shortcut for lots of girls who want to enjoy a fairly comfortable life, but for North Korea girls all this is like asking for moon. They can not marry men out of North Korea according the law and can not even go abroad, because they do not have a passport,North Korea does not allow citizens to own private passports.
That’s mainly because when they see the outside world, they will not return to Korea. But Kim Jong-il himself has two foreign marriages, the second wife is a South Korean movie star, and third wife a Korean fromJapan, both can be called “foreigners”.
Korean girls in poverty are also eager to marry a wealthy foreigner, while when the normal foreign registration channel was closed after by North Korean government, they can only turn to illegal immigration. Usually there are two smuggling ways: one is to walk across the ice ofYaluRivertoChinaside at winter night, the other is to bribe North Korean border guard with money.
If any Chinese man takes a fancy to a Korean beauty, in most cases they will get the girl by bribery, and usually 100 Yuan or a bag or rice can make it, but the majority of the North Korea brides are illegal immigrants trafficked to China.
The China side also needs regular procedures to get married, but they can not do that, many Korean bride even giving birth to child are still unregistered household and have to hide everyday.
If tipped off these Korean brides will be sent back to North Korea while waiting for them is a notorious flattery of “traitor” and prison. According to the laws of North Korea, for the first repatriation from Chinathey will be sentenced to reeducation through labor for one year, the second three years, and the third five years.
Nowadays in rural areas of Yanbian, Jilin Province,Northeast China, many people will lend a hand and introduce hungry North Korean girls to locals as wife. Some village even has more than 10 North Korean brides, some of whom are bought from traffickers for a 10,000 Yuan.
They can understand, speak Chinese and are satisfied with life in China, but fear of being sent back to North Korea grips them.
Longing for a better life is not wrong! When can the North Korean bride be like a Vietnam bride who can get married to foreigners freely?
In rural villages of the border many Chinese men buy Korean girls as wife, especially for those in poverty or with disability. Traffickers seize this market, traffick a lot of Korean girls and sell to the villagers 10,000 Yuan per girl.
These Korean girls look good, work hard and care for the elderly. Most of them can understand and speak Chinese in a few months and they are very satisfied with life here.
But we all know, these girls are black households, marrying them has a risk. For rural people, human nature and feelings between people gain the upper hand, they feel as long as people do not report, officials will not investigate that, and this kind of live is also very good.
Of course these girls do not want to go back toNorth Korea, It was a very poor place, and people there even suffer from starving everyday just like China in its 50s and 60s.
Chinese people want to go to developed countries like Europe and theUnited States, most are likely to fulfill their dream of gold, but North Korean come toChinamainly in order to solve their food and clothing problems. If it is not intolerable, who are willing to risk their lives to flee their own country and do not want to go back?
Women shit and stink, most are fat and ugly. Women carry diseases that afflict good men, and when they have the opportunity, they fuck with somebody else. Time to replace women with sophisticated robots.
You probably have to look at imagery of death and dying regularly to stay focused on what really counts in life: great sex before you are gone anyway.
PUBLISHED: June 15, 2013 at 11:01 pm | UPDATED: November 6, 2015 at 8:31 pm
Peter Martin Ebel was many things to many people when he became a fugitive from justice in Minnesota 22 years ago.
To the students and faculty of St. Croix Catholic and Stillwater Junior High schools in the late 1970s, he was Edward Alan Scott, a published author, accomplished photographer and stern but brilliant math and Latin teacher. He also taught one of his proteges how to fly an airplane.
To officials of a boys academy in Georgia, he was Dr. Ebel, a respected and renowned child researcher based in Albania.
But much of what people knew about the man, now 54, was a deception — from his relationship with children and teaching background to the doctor credentials that led to felony drug charges against him in Minnesota in 1979.
Ebel jumped bail in 1980, and his whereabouts remained a mystery to authorities and others for two decades, until he was arrested last year and then pleaded guilty to federal child pornography charges in Los Angeles.
Today, as Ebel sits in a federal prison cell awaiting sentencing and a possible mandatory minimum 10-year prison term, federal authorities and those who came in contact with Ebel are wondering aloud how many child victims there may be in Minnesota and elsewhere.
Ebel was detained at a California airport Sept. 7 and later was arrested after he was caught with sexually explicit pictures of young boys. In the process, federal officials learned he had been convicted 34 years ago in England on a sex-related charge.
Ebel’s court-appointed attorney could not be reached for comment.
“I’m wondering … if we’re just scratching the tip of the iceberg here,” says Rodrigo Castro-Silva, the federal prosecutor in California handling the case.
“There were a lot of kids he came in contact with here,” says Allen Klein, a former Stillwater Junior High student who filed a lawsuit in 1993 against St. Croix Catholic School and in a deposition alleged that Ebel had molested him.
Klein, a 38-year-old Plymouth resident who is publicly coming forward for the first time, suspects there may be other victims besides him.
“My desire now is to confront (Ebel) face to face and talk to him about what he did to me,” Klein says.
EDWARD ALAN SCOTT
Interviews with more than a dozen people nationally and a review of court documents portray Ebel as an enigmatic Renaissance man who impressed people with his knowledge of subjects ranging from medical surgeries to nuclear power plant operations.
Ebel, actually a 10th-grade high school dropout from Morrison County, N.J., and using Edward Alan Scott as an alias, secured a job for the 1976-77 school year as a math teacher at the St. Croix Catholic School. The school, also known as St. Michael’s School, shared physical education and other courses with a nearby public school, Stillwater Junior High.
“He was brilliant, had a vocabulary to die for, and he was teaching a summer photography class to area kids,” recalls Brandon Crawford, then a St. Croix teacher and now the head of its middle-school program. “At the time, we were in need of a math teacher and he supplied us with what seemed excellent credentials, like his education in England.”
Known as “Mr. Scott,” Ebel had written two books under the pseudonym of Reynolds Locke. One dealt with anthrax mutation. The other, published by the now-defunct Stein & Day publishers, was called “Mayday 747” and involved the aftereffects of a jumbo jet crash. A third book, “Soldier of Eden,” a purported nonfiction account of an orphaned American boy who became an Arab freedom fighter in Libya, was published in England in 1987 under the pen name of James Congdon.
After joining the faculty, Scott quickly gravitated toward a small core group of students, school officials said. One of them was Klein, a bright seventh-grader with six siblings and the product of a troubled home. Scott befriended Klein and his family and taught him how to fly an airplane. Meanwhile, posing as Dr. Peter Martin Ebel, he was duping a pharmacy in Maplewood into filling bogus prescriptions for Valium and codeine, according to charges brought later.
Suspicions were raised at both schools when the nurse at Stillwater Junior High received a note through Scott from a Dr. Ebel asking that Klein be excused from taking a shower because he had been diagnosed with scoliosis.
Don Hovland and Steven Studer, then principal and assistant principal at Stillwater Junior High School, and Sister Kathleen Foley, then principal at St. Croix, denied the request and confronted Scott about his credentials near the end of the 1976-77 school year.
A short time later, Ebel took Klein to England on a supposed trip to treat him with growth hormone drugs not available in this country, according to Klein and others.
Klein was in fact among three boys taken to England with their parents’ permission, all of whom “returned with drug dependency problems,” according to a Maplewood police incident report. The children, according to the report, refused to talk with authorities about the trips or their relationship with Ebel.
Officials at both schools compared notes and secured copies of bogus drug prescriptions Ebel had obtained for Klein’s mother and others and as well as for himself, according to court records.
Scott was booted from the school after one year on the job and subsequently charged in Ramsey County District Court on June 10, 1979, with two felony counts in the drug case.
A Stillwater family that had rented an apartment to Ebel posted $500 bail on his behalf. He left town during a pretrial hearing in early 1980, and a bench warrant was issued for his arrest.
His fugitive status ignited more suspicions about his relationships with Klein and a handful of other students. During one of his trips to England, he had brought back with him a boy. The boy, Crawford learned years later, committed suicide after returning to England.
“I guess we didn’t know much about these things back then, and in hindsight there were red flags,” Crawford said last week after learning of Ebel’s arrest in September. “But there was nothing blatant. The parents trusted this man. The kids never told us what if anything happened.
“There was nothing we could get our hands on.”
U.S. Customs Service agent Randy Karavanich was ready when Swissair Flight 106 landed at Tom Bradley International terminal in Los Angeles on Sept. 7, 2001. Ebel was on board and, because of a tip from officials at Gables Academy in Stone Mountain, Ga., he was suspected of being engaged in child pornography or molestation.
Ebel, who claimed to be a researcher for a nonprofit group in Albania, had approached the school three years earlier and persuaded it to invest in an exchange program and a school to be built on the strikingly beautiful shores of the Adriatic Sea. In return, Ebel’s adopted son, a 13-year-old, received English language classes at the academy.
But the therapist wife of James Meffen III, the school’s headmaster, became concerned after traveling to Albania and uncovering what she considered a disturbingly close relationship between Ebel and several boys.
A check of Ebel’s criminal background by the Customs Service disclosed the 1980 warrant from Minnesota as well as an arrest in 1968 by Scotland Yard police in England for an “indecent assault” on a minor under 16. Ebel was put on three years’ probation for that incident.
Karavanich was surprised to find Ebel in the company of three boys from Albania, including an 8-year-old suffering from what was later diagnosed as a genetic blindness disorder that could only be corrected in the United States.
Ebel was allowed to leave after airport authorities seized a laptop computer, a digital camera and several computer disks in Ebel’s belongings.
Chandice Covington, a professor of nursing at UCLA and a medical researcher who had befriended Ebel after learning about his alleged research into the development of Albanian males and the nutritional impact of iodine deficiency, said, “I was highly suspicious at that point, and the bells started going off in my head.”
It took three weeks for authorities to discover digital and hard-copy images of naked boys masturbating each other and other pictures that had nothing to do with the research. Meanwhile, Covington, who had offered her Westwood home to Ebel, contacted Los Angeles police after she found the kids one morning tearing up sexually explicit pictures of themselves and flushing them down her bathroom toilet.
Ebel was arrested, and the boys, one of whom was suffering from sexually transmitted warts on his face, were reunited with their families in Albania. Ebel pleaded guilty to one count of manufacture of child pornography and is scheduled to be sentenced Aug. 19 in Los Angeles. The blind boy is allowed to return periodically to undergo a series of surgeries to restore his eyesight, Covington said.
Officials in Minnesota are not sure whether Ebel will be extradited to face the outstanding charges.
“To be frank, the charges here are peanuts compared to what he is facing in California,” said James Konen, an assistant Ramsey County attorney who initially handled the drug-related case. “To my knowledge, we never received any information about (suspected child molestation).”
Like many others, Covington expressed surprise at the Minnesota connection, but not at the nature of the arrest.
”Who knows how many victims there are out there?” she says. “He certainly duped a lot of people along the way. But he is living proof that pedophiles don’t come in black and white. He’s a brilliant man who did try to help out some kids, like the blind boy. But he is also a sick and evil man.”
TIMELINE: PETER MARTIN EBEL
1968: Peter Martin Ebel is convicted in London for indecently assaulting a minor younger than 16.
1976: St. Croix Catholic School in Stillwater hires Edward Alan Scott — one of several aliases linked to Ebel — as a math teacher. The school also shares physical education and other courses with a nearby public school, Stillwater Junior High School.
Summer 1977: School officials find his credentials fraudulent and terminate him.
1978: Ebel reportedly returns to the United States after a trip to England, this time posing as a doctor working for the “Nuclear Regulatory Agency.”
1979: School officials suspect Scott is posing as “Dr. Ebel.”
June 10, 1979: Ebel is charged with two felony counts of filling out drug prescriptions.
Jan. 16, 1980: He fails to appear for a pretrial hearing.
1980-99: Authorities have no idea of his whereabouts.
1999-2001: Ebel, claiming that he heads an Albanian-based nonprofit organization and conducting a growth development research project on Albanian males, makes contact with a private boys academy in Georgia. He persuades school officials to build an exchange program in Albania.
Sept. 7, 2001: Ebel is detained in Los Angeles in the company of three Albanian boys and is released after his laptop computer and several CD-ROM disks are confiscated pending a forensic examination.
Sept. 10, 2001: U.S. Customs Service agent Leo Lamas uncovers several images of the genitals of several naked prepubescent boys, including one of the boys who accompanied Ebel on the trip. Ebel asserts the pictures are part of his research.
Sept. 20, 2001: Dr. Laura Ticson of the Vulnerable Child and Sexual Assault Center in Los Angeles says the images are undoubtedly child pornography.
Sept. 28, 2001: Ebel is arrested and charged with possession and manufacture of child porn.
June 10, 2002: Ebel pleads guilty to one count of manufacture of child pornography.
Aug. 19, 2002: Ebel is to be sentenced.
It's not the food that you put into your mouth that makes you fat. It's the food that you put into your stomach. Try the Serge Kreutz diet and learn how to differentiate.
Canada, we’re being trolled.
Some 43,000 people have petitioned “pickup artist” Roosh V’s entry into Canada on grounds that he disseminates hate speech. Yesterday, Toronto Mayor John Tory denounced him before more than 67,000 followers on Twitter, while councillor Norm Kelly (followers: 91,000) warned venues not to host his talk this Saturday.
But do the math: the blogger (real name Daryush Valizadeh) attracted a paltry 34 men to his speech on “neomasculinity” in Montreal this past weekend.
While it’s commendable that critics are blasting a guy who once pushed for the legalization of rape, fear and loathing served up in 140 characters might not be the most productive conversation, and might actually be serving Roosh well.
The Canadian backlash has fuelled some serious publicity bluster for Valizadeh, who has self-published a series of “bang guides” to bedding women in various countries. It’s bloated his follower count, and Valizadeh’s been carefully tracking his own exposure on Twitter this week – along with baiting feminists after several women allegedly attacked him in Montreal, two reportedly dumping beer on his head.
“The best way of handling people like this of course is to try and ignore them,” Kelly acknowledged, before explaining that it was incumbent for him to speak out as a public official.
The pickup artist, or PUA, community remains a relatively small subculture of men who hope to get laid more often. They plan to achieve this by poring over “seduction manuals” and attending bootcamps that force shy guys out of their shells. Popularized in part by Neil Strauss’s The Game, some PUA techniques are psychologically off-putting, including “negging,” which consists of mildly teasing or criticizing a woman so her self-confidence drops and she somehow becomes intrigued (the grade-school equivalent is letting a girl know you like her by kicking her).
Recently though, the PUA community has spouted more odious fare. In February, Valizadeh penned a bizarre and troubling blog post titled “How to Stop Rape,” arguing that the legalization of rape on private property would make women more vigilant with strange men at frat parties. Never mind that most women are raped by someone they know, and very few report it. Using some seriously fuzzy logic, Valizadeh argued that in order to stamp out sexual violence, it’s up to women to show “self-control” and “make adult decisions about their bodies.” It’s outdated rhetoric we’ve heard before, sometimes from women, no less.
Almost immediately, Valizadeh was beaten back by a vocal community of feminists online. (The pickup artist was not available for an interview before deadline, but tweeted at Tory, “Mr. Mayor, my speech doesn’t promote violence, harassment, or hate against any group. You were lied to about me.”)
In a foreshadow to this debacle, Australia banned pickup artist Julien Blanc last November. A photo that showed his hands around a woman’s throat went viral under the hashtag #ChokingGirlsAroundtheWorld. Canadians protested him too, getting the Immigration Minister’s attention, with Blanc eventually cancelling planned speaking dates here.
Blanc’s “techniques” are disgusting, juvenile and misogynist, definitely. But as Maclean’s columnist Emma Teitel pointed out at the time, his detractors scored him more airtime than he’d ever enjoyed before. Feminists were failing to distinguish between “what’s idiotic, what’s lecherous, and what’s criminal,” wrote Teitel. “Not all pickup artists are equal; and very few of them are the spawn of the devil.”
Those who rail against Blanc and Valizadeh counter that they’re concerned about how misogynist content plays into the mindset of more violent men like Elliot Rodger and John Houser, who opened fire and killed two women at a screening of Amy Schumer’s film Trainwreck in Lafayette, La., last month.
With the current climate, it will be interesting to see if a prolific chauvinist like Roosh V will get run out of town. If not, protesters will no doubt be keenly watching whether anyone will host his “The State of a Man” address in Toronto this weekend (he is keeping venue details under wraps until Friday).
Ultimately though, the gender war that’s been fomented between PUAs and feminists isn’t really indicative of modern male-female dynamics – men and women who work, play, live and raise children together, whose long-term relationships likely weren’t forged over carefully crafted disses.
Most well-adjusted men don’t bone up on misogynist mind games before heading out to the bar, and most women have enough self-respect to turn the bar stool away from a neg. For those who don’t, maybe we should focus the conversation on them – not another chafing, Twitter-metric scanning PUA.
When women don't have sex to trade, they are inferior to men in almost every capacity. That is why in a future world in which sex robots are the partners of men, women won't have influence. They seldom had, anyway, throughout history.
When it comes to the human orgasm, research has primarily focused on how this intense feeling of sexual pleasure has evolved. In a new study, one researcher has delved into a relatively understudied area of human climax: how orgasms affect the brain.
Described as a powerful, pleasurable release of accumulated sexual tension, the orgasm is perceived as the epitome of sexual pleasure for both men and women.
During orgasm, an individual may experience a rise in blood pressure, an increased heart rate, heavy breathing, and rhythmic muscular contractions.
But while the signs and sensations of an orgasm might be clear, the underlying mechanisms of this sexual response - particularly its neurophysiological effects - remain uncertain.
Study author Adam Safron, Ph.D., of the Weinberg College of Arts and Sciences at Northwestern University in Evanston, IL, notes that the majority of research relating to the orgasm has focused on its evolutionary functions.
A study reported by Medical News Today earlier this year did just that; researchers suggested that the female orgasm once played a role in ovulation.
For this latest study - recently reported in the journal Socioaffective Neuroscience and Psychology - Safron set out to gain a better understanding of how the human orgasm affects the brain.
How rhythmic stimulation can induce a 'sexual trance' To reach his findings, Safron analyzed an abundance of studies and literature that have investigated the brain and body's response to sexual stimulation.
He used the information to create a model that sheds light on how rhythmic sexual activity affects rhythmic activity in the brain.
Safron explains that rhythmic sexual stimulation - if intense enough and if it lasts long enough - can boost neural oscillations at correlating frequencies, a process called "neural entrainment."
This process may be responsible for what Safron describes as a "sexual trance," where sole focus is on the immediate sensation experienced.
Brain responses to orgasms and rhythmic music, dance are comparable Interestingly, Safron also identified similarities between orgasms and reflex seizures, noting that both of these experiences can be triggered by rhythmic stimulation that induces rhythmic activity in the brain.
Additionally, the researcher found that the way the brain reacts to rhythmic sexual stimulation is comparable to the way it responds to rhythmic music and dance.
"[...] although obvious in retrospect, I wasn't expecting to find that sexual activity was so similar to music and dance, not just in the nature of the experiences, but also in that evolutionarily, rhythm-keeping ability may serve as a test of fitness for potential mates," says Safron.
He adds that rhythmic music and dance have served as a key part of mating for hundreds of millions of years, and his findings are consistent with this fact.
Safron says much more work needs to be done to fully understand the neurophysiological effects of orgasms, but he hopes his study paves the way for such research.
"Before this paper, we knew what lit up in the brain when people had orgasms, and we knew a lot about the hormonal and neurochemical factors in non-human animals, but we didn't really know why sex and orgasm feel the way they do," he says. "This paper provides a level of mechanistic detail that was previously lacking."
The Serge Kreutz diet is the ultimate sex diet via the day-long stimulation of taste buds with chocolate.
Apparently you can get a “whore” in Jeddah from the fast food outlet Hardee’s. At least according to Saudi Sheikh Ali Al Mutairi. These women are “prostitutes” – for working and earning their living to take care of their families – because men happen to be in the same place. What an embarrassment Sheikh Ali Al Mutairi is for his country and his people. Maybe it’s time to implement ‘honor killing’ of men so Saudi Arabia can restore some honor.
Where is King Abdullah and his magic ‘people eraser’ when you need it the most?
A Twitter post ignited a battle of arguments over a post tweeted by a Saudi cleric describing the newly-introduced waitress at a fast-food restaurant in Saudi Arabia as “prostitutes”.
The debated topic sparked when Saudi Sheikh Ali Al Mutairi reacted to a number of Saudi tweets calling for the boycott of popular American fast-food restaurant, Hardee’s.
The burger chain had recently allowed women – for the first time – to work as waitresses at their branches across the coastal city of Jeddah.
“At the beginning of her shift she’s a waitress. When her shift ends she becomes a prostitute. The more she’s around men the easier it becomes to get closer to her”, tweeted Al-Mutairi, whose twitter account (@4aalmutairi ) boasts more than 5,000 followers.
Despite this cleric’s views reflecting an existing frustration amongst some conservative segments in Saudi Arabia which oppose women’s right to work and fear that allowing females to mix with men may lead to unwanted social behaviours, Mutari’s rather controversial tweet was deemed too extreme to many Saudis on Twitter.
“Prostitution is not in working trying to survive but it is in corrupted minds that use religion to distort other’s reputation,” posted one male in response to Mutar’s tweet.
Many commented by telling Sheikh Al Mutairi that through doubting the morality of ‘chaste’ women and describing them in the way he did, the cleric would be committing a serious vice, according to well-known Islamic teachings.
Another tweep posted pictures of some Hardee’s waitresses posted over social media by saying “These women are all covered up that I wouldn’t look at them, plus if your sister goes to that restaurant would you prefer a man or a woman taking her order?”
Despite the reaction to Sheikh Al-Mutairi’s views being mostly critical, there were some supportive tweets like one which says, “We know your intention and we give you the benefit of the doubt; stay as you are, a splinter in the throats of liberals”.
As reactions mounted and a hashtag was created to discuss his tweet, Al-Mutairi replied to many of his critics saying:
“In the name of God, I have seen this hashtag and some are asking to apologise because they think I have defamed Hardee’s waitresses – the truth is I warned from the dangers of sexes mixing, at the beginning she is a waitress and in the end they will want her to become a prostitute and between are the devil’s steps”, tweeted the sheikh.
“As for hypocrites who shave their beards and moustache (a common way of describing liberals in Saudi Arabia), there is no apology for them because their zeal isn’t for God,” he added.
The Saudi Ministry of Labour has been implementing a strategy which aims at creating more job opportunities and workplaces for women. However, segregation of sexes is applied in most public venues across Saudi Arabia.
Porn stars dangle their dicks in front of super subwoofers to produce super erection. Do it yourself shockwave therapy.
You’ve known her for years, shared both your life and your bed with her. Can it be that you don’t know how she likes being touched?
Editors note: The following advice is aimed primarily at heterosexual males.
You’ve had sex with innumerable women and all of them complemented your performance, so how can it be that your old trick simply doesn’t work on your new partner?
First of all, don’t stress. You are not alone. A high percentage of the men around you, those who navigate so easily on road trips, are jaw-droppingly embarrassed when it comes to small yet important things such as finding the G spot. What to do? What men always do: open a map, read a guide, and get there.
Here's some advice to those of you who are feeling lost.
Penetrating deeply and strongly is not necessarily the right answer! If you’ve thought that good sex means penetrating as deeply and strongly as possible or lasting a long time, you need to rethink your approach. When the end of the man’s penis enters the vagina, one centimeter or even less, it stimulates the woman and encourages wetness in the vagina. When you penetrate in one thrust and start forcefully performing the motions of intercourse, you are just causing pain. You mustn’t penetrate too fast, too deep, or too strong immediately.
The conclusion is that if it hurts, you don’t penetrate. You change your style, avoid penetration, and perform a different kind of sexual activity. If the pains persist, we recommend that you seek professional advice.
Clitoral stimulation may be more important than penetration itself Not all men are familiar with the woman’s anatomy - and some don’t know where the clitoris is. A man who came for consultancy told me that he was making great efforts when giving his wife oral sex but she felt nothing. It seemed that he was convinced that oral sex means penetrating with your tongue as deep as possible, to replace the function of the penis. He was looking for the clitoris inside her.
The female orgasm is a series of convulsions in the area which is close to the vaginal opening, the external third of the vagina and womb. Most women reach an orgasm by stimulating the clitoris. Penetration, for them, is a pleasant addition, but in and of itself it won’t bring them to an orgasm. Men who are not aware of this might think that there is something wrong with these women and say things such as ‘how can it be that all my girlfriends had an orgasm by penetration, and only you don’t’. These sayings are very common.”
Stimulating the clitoris during penetration can only be possible by direct (masturbation) or indirect touch (for example, a position in which the clitoris is stimulated by another organ). Many women report that when they are on top of the man - in other words sitting on their partner – their clitoris is being stimulated by the pelvis of their partner, which assists them in reaching an orgasm. In this position, the clitoris can be stimulated by the partner's or by her own fingers.
So what’s the deal with that G-spot? Everybody’s talking about it, everybody is searching for it, and yet – most of us are lost on the way to it. the G-spot is located somewhere in the vagina. You are supposed, at the very least, to show some interest in it. Since you probably won’t stop someone on the street and ask for directions, here are some tips!
The female G-spot is located on the upper side of the vagina (near the stomach, not the back), on the external third of the vagina, meaning – by the opening to the vagina, not deeper inside. It’s about the size of a coin, and some women report that stimulating it provides them with a most pleasant orgasm.
The G-spot has brought back the issue of size (or more correctly – width), which lost its glory when it was thought that orgasm was possible only by stimulating the clitoris. For a woman to enjoy touch and stimulation of the G-spot, the width of the penis is definitely important. The wider it is, the more pressure it can put on the spot during intercourse. It is also true that the width of a finger is more than enough, but a finger can do many things which the penis can’t, such as aiming at the exact location with exact amount of pressure.
If it can reassure you, not all women reach an orgasm by stimulation of the G-spot. But just in case, here is a simple way to locate it: first, ask your partner to go pee, so that she will be calmer. Now, ask her to lie on her back, penetrate her vagina with your finger, and do a movement as if motioning “come here."
The G-spot is generally located about four centimeters into the vagina, on the front side, that is, on the upper side of it. The location is not the same for every woman. For some it might be a bit more toward the entrance, for others a bit deeper. For some it might be a little to the right, and others a bit to the left. If she lies on her back and her navel is at 12 o’clock, the G-spot will probably be more or less between 11 and 1 o’clock.
The area in which the G-spot is located is important during intercourse. There is almost no possibility of reaching it during sex, only manually or using a vibrator with a 90-degree tickler. In the common missionary position (the woman underneath the man), the penis slides in and passes by the G-spot with no significant stimulation. But in order to improve performance the woman can lay on her back and the man kneel on the bed before her as she places her legs on his shoulders. Then, the G-spot might be better stimulated.
In the position of the woman on top of the man, there is also a better stimulation of the G-spot. The stimulation can be even more significant with the woman on her hands and knees, or when the man is sitting on the edge of the bed and the woman sits on his lap with her back to him. The spooning position (when both partners are on their sides and the woman’s back is toward the man) is also great for stimulating the G-spot. But the truth is that manually is usually the best.
Female ejaculation is a real thing Here is a surprise for some of you: women can ejaculate too. Some women report that when they reach an orgasm, and during that they ejaculate a large quantity of whitish liquid. Don’t worry - everything is fine with them and with you. They didn’t pee on the bed, they are simply enjoying it.
Some men are upset by the sudden wetness and gushing, thinking it is urine. That is not urine. The estimation is that alongside the female urethra there are glands, a remnant of the male prostate, which secrete a large quantity of whitish liquid during orgasm. Some women say, ‘I ejaculate as much as a man describes his orgasm and ejaculation.’ If your partner is ejaculating, you should be happy, because for some women it’s quite the opposite, with dryness that makes penetration very difficult and pleasant intercourse impossible.
'But every other woman loved it!' You sucked her nipples and she jumped like a snake bit her? You don’t understand why, because with your ex it was the winning card. But that’s just the point: women are not only different from men, but also not all women like the same things.
A man should get a good understanding of what works for his specific partner, and not tell her that everybody enjoyed what he did to them in the past, so why doesn’t she? Each woman has her own desires. If you touch your partner’s clitoris in a manner that is unpleasant for her, you will continue sweating and she will be busy thinking “when is he going to be done already?!”
How do you know? You talk. An open and honest discussion can tell you things you didn’t know about her before. Don’t be ashamed about asking (and saying) what is pleasant and what is not, how exactly to touch. Every woman should be discovered from scratch. One might have loved being pleasured by oral sex, but the other might be disgusted by it. And if she says she won’t enjoy it – she knows what she is saying.
Changing preferences might also occur during different periods in life. Your partner, in the past, might have loved having her nipples touched but suddenly she says they are sensitive. Don’t be stubborn. Not only will it not pleasure her, it might also cause here to have a negative approach and even to suffer.
Tongkat ali standardization is a scam, copied many times over on the Internet. Good for you if it's just a lie (which most probably it is) . Bad for you if indeed they enrich their alleged tongkat ali with eurycomanone. Because it would be reagent grade eurycomanone, not pharmaceutical grade. Better be careful with your health.
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